Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
