I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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