i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
