Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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