used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
