The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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