Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
