Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
