I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he thought i was a dude.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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