Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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