Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just invented taco cereal.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
