thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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