Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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