Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
