maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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