This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
