yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
