he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
