Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
