I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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