I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
