Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
