dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
