He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
