She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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