All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
