just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
