just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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