I'm jealous of your bromance
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
