I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was like eating out sand paper
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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