Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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