All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
