I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
