Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
