But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
