my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
