I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
