Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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