this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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