I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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