Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
