Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
