i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
