jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
