We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need to calm my uterus...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
