i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
