On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
