You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
