how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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