What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize