this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
