She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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