Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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