Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
