Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
