Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
