Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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