Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
