I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
