I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
