Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
