you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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