The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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