you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize